Honey Bun
by psychicbunny
Summary: A day in the life of Sakura's best friend, who witnesses Sakura's relationships.


**Honey Bun**

* * *

I woke up, groaning and clutching my head as I tried to block out the overwhelming rays of the sun shining through my window blinds. Shit, I never learn, do I? You would think that having massive hangovers would teach me not to get pissed ass drunk, but I just couldn't miss out on the fun. 

Meanwhile, the blonde chick started waking up and groaning too. Why did those bitches always make a point of overstaying their welcome? There's a reason why it's called a one-night stand—because it lasts for a fucking night. Not a fucking night and the next morning—just a god-fucking night. Anyhow, the blonde chick starts groaning about her hangover, and then I notice, fuck, what happened to those beautiful, perfectly symmetrical tits of hers that I saw last night? Even in my heavy hangover, I could clearly see that one tit was bigger than the other. Shit, how wasted was I in order to think that her tits were perfect?

What a perfect Valentine's Day I had.

I shook my head as I crawled out of bed. That was definitely a night to forget; the bitch wasn't even a decent fuck. At the bar, she spent the entire night feeling me up, but when we got back to my place and she was all nice and naked, she refused to do anything besides missionary. _What the fuck?_ was my first thought, and through her heavy slurs, I made out something along the lines of "Missionary's the only way God intended us to have sex." My next thought was _Holy shit, I have a fucking hypocrite on my hands…at least her tits are huge. _

Fuck, why do I remember so much when I'm pissed ass drunk? I need my memory to be this good on a regular basis, not when I'm pissing booze out of my dick.

After kicking the blonde broad out of my apartment (which must've taken a good fifteen minutes), I stepped into the showed and turned on the faucet. The ice-cold water blasted straight at me, knocking me out of my hung-over stupor. I guess that's one of the advantages of being a medic-nin; I've been able to train my body to process alcohol faster using my chakra and other natural body processes.

And then it occurred to me: I was supposed to be at the hospital, working today because one of the other medics had fucking family plans. And that was over half an hour ago.

Shit, I was in for it.

* * *

I dashed like a motherfucking maniac through the main doors, causing people to stare at me. At the main station, Sakura looked up nonchalantly from her patient chart as, in front of her, I gasped for some goddamn air. "Well, you're only an hour late," she said sarcastically. 

"Sorry…was preoccupied with some other things…" I told her. She never cut anyone a fucking break, unless you were Uchiha Sasuke, her deranged, and something (such as the bruises on her arms) told me abusive, boyfriend.

She raised an eyebrow. "I bet you were…" she said, trailing off. "Oh, yeah, by the way, this is all for you," she said suddenly, and she bent below the desk before rising up with several cloth bags filled with fresh fruits and vegetables.

"…this is all from your garden?" I asked.

"Yeah," she replied morosely, her eyes screaming 'Shit, my boyfriend doesn't like anything I do…why the fuck am I still with him?' "Sasuke doesn't like my produce," she said as she handed me two melons for me to judge their quality. I weighed them in my hands, satisfied with their water content. "This is all great; he doesn't like any of it?" I asked.

"Nope," she replied before tossing a patient chart my way. I barely caught that piece of shit in time after placing the melons down. "Your first case of the day and it's not pretty."

"Awww, come on, this soon?" I hollered at her as she disappeared down a corridor.

* * *

The man watched me suspiciously as I sliced through his bandages with a knife. "Why ya usin' a-knife?" the man asked in a voice that most people have when they're shitting, but unable to squeeze their shit out. 

"All the scissors here at the hospital are for right-handed people. I'm left-handed." I raised my left hand, which was holding the bloody knife. "See?"

The man continued to watch me suspiciously as if I was some fucked-up noob, but said nothing else. It took a while before I cut through all the fucking bandages on his leg, and I could see the gangrene beginning to form. "Good thing we got to this now, before it got too advanced…" I muttered to myself. It was fucked up; it looked like shit and smelled worse than shit.

There was a light tap on the door. "Come in," I hollered over my shoulder, not being able to peel my eyes away from the fucked-up sight before me. The door clicked open, and Sakura slid in, holding a white basin filled to the brim with clear water. She walked over, her prissy-ass shoes lightly clacking on the floor. The man's eyes fucking lit up like Christmas lights.

"Here, I thought that we might need this, and it looks like I was right," she said to me as she placed the basin of water on the windowsill. I dipped the knife, which was covered in blood and shit, in the water, and the body fluids dissipated in the water.

"Alright, looks like we're going to have to heal you; we were hoping that you would heal on your own," Sakura told the man. The man basked in her beauty, fucking grinning from ear to ear as she spoke to him. His nightgown was wrinkled and shitty all around, more so starting from his waist and continuing below, but some folds and bumps were larger than others.

"Dude, I'm still here," I told the man. "And you do realize you have a snowball's chance in hell, right?"

The man's grin widened, which I don't fucking know how that was possible. "Sorry," he told me, "but I cudn' 'elp m'self."

"I know how it is," I told him, "but she's not going to like it."

Sakura looked quizzically at the two of us. "What's going on?"

My reply was automatic. "I'll tell you when you're older."

* * *

I was eating my sandwich, all frickin-ass nice and peaceful in the goddamn hospital courtyard, when a black blur scared the shit out of me. It was the notorious Uchiha Sasuke, fucking traitor who had been accepted back into the village because of his special abilities and his shitty-ass love connection to Sakura. 

He glowered. "What's between you and Sakura?"

"Holy shit, five words; a complete sentence. This must be serious," I observed, only causing him to look fucking constipated at me some more. "Somebody alert the media; this has got to make it onto the five o-clock news." Sasuke was growing more and more irritated with each word I spoke, but sure as hell, I wasn't fazed. "Dude, I'm not afraid of you," I told him. "So keep on glowering, but I'm not shitting in my pants."

"What's between you and Sakura?" he asked, a little more forced.

I was going to take the opportunity to say something along the lines of "Oh, nothing, we're just fuck buddies," but considering he was ready to snap my neck like a motherfucking twig as it was, I decided it was not the thing to say. I value my shitty-ass life. Instead, I told him the truth. "Nothing, man, you've got nothing to worry about from me. I like free fish, not fish that costs me too much."

He narrowed his eyes at my words, but instead of mauling me, he disappeared in a flash. "I enjoyed our nice fucking chat as well," I said sarcastically. Hey, then again, my head was still on my shoulders, and my fucking dick was still in between my legs; I wasn't going to complain.

"I thought you hated fish; I always thought you went for bloody steak," Sakura piped up from behind me.

I whirled around, a grin on my face. "You heard us?"

Sakura frowned. "Yeah, I did…I told him not to do that. Anyhow, I thought you loved bloody steak."

I chuckled. "I love fish too, Sakura, so long as it's free," I told her as I pulled a smoke from my pocket. From my other pocket, I pulled out my lighter, and without thinking about my company, I lit her up.

I inhaled, then exhaled, the smoke filling my lungs. Fuck, a smoke felt good; I could feel my stress dissipating. Beside me, Sakura was frowning like a fucking nun who realized God wasn't real. "You shouldn't smoke; it's bad for your health."

"Yeah, well, you only live once."

She sighed, rolling her eyes. All of a sudden, she cocked her head and watched me with a weird-ass look in her eyes.

After a few second, I was freaked out like a motherfucker. "What?" I asked. "Am I too beautiful for you to comprehend?"

"You wish," she fired back, but then that goddamn look came onto her face again. "Hey…why don't you have a girlfriend?" she asked.

I fucking choked on my cigarette, causing me to wheeze. After I got my wheezing under control, I turned to her. "What?"

She frowned. "I mean…you're always chasing skirts. You're Konoha's biggest skirt chaser, and almost every night, you have a different woman in your bed. So why don't you just get a girlfriend? It's a constant supply of sex." She paused and giggled, and seeing how confused I was, she elaborated, "How do you get so many women? You're basically…well…a male nurse."

"Just because I'm akin to a male nurse doesn't mean I'm effeminate; being a medic-nin makes good money. Besides, I'm not interested in settling down yet," I replied. Shit, I hate explaining myself.

She nodded with mock understanding. "Right, since tits are more important than brains. Gotcha," she said.

I sighed. Fuck, I _really_ hate explaining myself. "It's because I haven't found the right girl yet, Sakura. Until then, I don't want to settle down with one girl who isn't right for me. I only care about tits because what's the point of looking for brains in a girl who I know is only going to be a one-night stand? I do look for brains in girls that I think I can spend the rest of my life with, but I haven't found the right one yet. And I'm not going to rush myself into something serious with the wrong girl because I don't want to spend the rest of my life with her."

Sakura blinked a couple times, dumbfounded. "Wow…something that profound from you? Are you feeling alright?"

I sighed again. What I just said wasn't fucking rocket science, it was just some shitty-ass common sense. "I just want to wait until the right girl comes along, and then _treat her properly_."

Sakura appear genuinely appreciative of my comments until she realized their hidden meaning. "Why do I feel there was a jab at Sasuke in there?" she asked, frowning.

"Because there was," I replied, not bothering to wade in any bullshit. "He doesn't treat you like you deserve to be."

"Oh? And you're one to judge that?" she asked in a falsely sweet voice.

"I know that there are plenty of men out there who would die at the chance to treat you right," I told her, and with each word I spoke, her face grew closer to the color of shit from somebody with bleeding in their GI tract. "Sasuke doesn't give you the emotional support needed from a relationship."

"You don't know anything. Who do you think you are, a Boondock saint?"

"Wow, the sex must be mind-blowing if you're willing to stand up for him like this to one of your closest friends," I replied. "That is, if he can have sex."

Sakura's lips were sealed tight, like a virgin's pussy, as she marched up to me and tore the cigarette out of my mouth, throwing it onto the ground and smashing it with her foot. "Smoking's bad for you," she gritted out through her teeth before whirling away in a furious storm. I looked with aghast at my cigarette, bent and soiled like fucking hospital bed sheets, poking out of the pavement.

Shit, I didn't say anything that bad, did I? I was only telling the truth. Was she on her god-fucking PMS cycle?

* * *

The next time I saw her fucking ass was later that day, in front of my apartment. She was just sitting there like some goddamn stray. I think I must've dropped my fucking keys in fucking shock 'cuz she looked in my direction a couple seconds after I saw her. 

"Hey," she called out, "haven't seen you in a while."

"Guess so…" I replied hesitantly. What was it with women and their fucking mood swings?

She stood up, all frickin' ass graceful like a ballerina. "Sorry about earlier…when I exploded at you," she said all morose and shit. "I shouldn't have done that."

I shook my head, feeling the goddamn remorse for my words. "No, Sakura, I should be apologizing; I had no right saying what I did."

"But you did have a right, and you were right," she said, her eyes tearing up. Shit, she wasn't gonna cry me a river, was she? "You were right—I think—about how Sasuke treats me. It's just…"

And she fucking broke down. All of a sudden, it felt like some fucking weight had been placed on my shoulders and chest. "Come on," I whispered in her ear, "this talk has been long overdue."

* * *

She began her story from the very beginning, when she and Sasuke were just kids, and how she loved him so fucking much and how heartbroken she was when he betrayed the village, and blah blah blah. She then moved on to that fucking retrieval mission and how she fell in love with him again when he returned; once again, old news. Then, the interesting part: when Sasuke began to "reciprocate" her feelings, she knew he loved her too. 

Awww, how sweet, except he was fucking cold-hearted asshole who either ignored her or threw her around a bit.

I scratched my head when she finished her story, not sure how to fucking say it without breaking her heart. Fuck, I wasn't meant to do this shit. "Sakura, you gotta leave this relationship. Look at what it's doing to you."

"What do you mean?" she asked defensively as the tune "I'm speakin' of my Sweetie Pie, only sixty inches high…" hummed from the stereo. I rubbed my eyes. Fucking-a-hell.

"Sakura, since you've been with Sasuke, you've changed. A lot," I began. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck…I saw blood coating the walls of my apartment.

"Change is the only constant thing in this world," she said in reply.

I sighed. "Sakura, you've become a lot less happy since you were with him. You're always in your own world. You've become much more secretive and less genuine." I glanced at her. "Do you really want me to go on?"

She stared out a window, the rays from the setting sun casting a warm glow on her. For a moment, she seemed at peace. "It's just…I love him too much. I can't leave him when he needs me."

Ah shit. "Sakura…Sasuke's a loner. He doesn't need anyone, and those he's with, he destroys them. And even if you loved him with all the love in this world, he'll never acknowledge it and it'll never change him."

"But there's always hope," she told me, and I saw it in her eyes.

I walked over to her and squeezed her tightly, and she hugged me back. "Hey, I'm your best friend, and I'll always be here, you know that?"

It first started as sniffles, and then it turned into sobs, and finally, into weeping.

* * *

She snored lightly, her head resting against my shoulder. I watched the flickering candle in front of me. Jesus, why was the room so cold? A glance to the air vent and I got my answer: my fat-ass cat was sleeping in front of the fucking heating vent. Goddamn cat; always seeking its own pleasure. 

A trail of wax dripped down the shaft of the candle and into the bowl holding the candle. Sakura snored some more. Honestly, she was the most beautiful woman I knew: the smartest, the brightest, the kindest, the warmest. And her devotion—I had never seen such. Yet the only thing I could feel for her was pity—was it pity for her situation? Or pity that someone as beautiful as she had to go through such suffering?

Or was it her ability to endure suffering that made her so beautiful?

I shut my eyes, willing myself to sleep. Those questions were for tomorrow to answer. As my nana used to say, "Time is the answer to all questions."


End file.
